I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
