Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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