If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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