this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
