hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
