You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
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