you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
