This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
