The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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