Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize