But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
