hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
