After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
