Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Randomize
