OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Randomize
