Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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