so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
