He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
This is the high leading the old right now
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
