so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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