Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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