i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
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