we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Congratulations! We have a period
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
