just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
