i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
