she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
