My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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