well most of my day revolves around power hour
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
