Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize