Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
