I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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