The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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