I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
