That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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