the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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