My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
