"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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