Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
