so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
