My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
