First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
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