You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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