Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
3pm strippers are depressing
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
