There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
