thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
