I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
