people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
