Already got asked if we're dating
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Randomize
