You smell like stripper and shame
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize