living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
