i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
