drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
