He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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