i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
