Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
