I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
