Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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