I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
