he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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