I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
