Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
well, you know. whores of a feather.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize