I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
