Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
