Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
