There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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