Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
