i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
birth control should be required to get into college
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
