I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
