maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
