Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
