Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
